image of chess board to symbolize mind games in a relationship

Mind games. We are all too familiar with the ‘should I or shouldn’t I be the first to reach out’ or the ‘they read the text but haven’t responded’ or ‘they say one thing but do another’ debacle. Games and relationships are rough. They’re frustrating and leave us feeling confused and helpless.

Read on for some ideas on why you might be putting up with mind games in relationships.

You don’t know any better because you haven’t been exposed to any different. Sometimes it comes down to just a repeated pattern of behavior. If you continue to choose partners who play games in relationships, then you start to think that that’s a “normal” way of being in a relationship. Sometimes we can be so familiar with the head games that we don’t realize they’re even happening.

You haven’t done the work.

Maybe you put up with mind games in relationships because you haven’t had the opportunity to do the work figuring out what you want and what you deserve in a relationship. A relationship coach can help you break down what your needs and boundaries are and what the qualities are that you’re looking for in a partner. Sometimes we need a little help, and that’s OK.

You’re starting to feel hopeless.

If you’ve been in the dating game for a while, it can start to feel hopeless that you’ll ever meet a partner who’s right for you. You may even get to the point where you think you need to just accept the games are ‘as good as it gets’ because you just really want to have a partner. It’s important to remember that the relationship that’s “right“ for you will not include mind games or other dysfunctional patterns of behavior.

Bottom line is, you don’t deserve to have your head played with in relationships. A relationship coach can help you move out of the unhealthy cycle that you find yourself in. Sometimes it can be helpful to have a third-party, objective and clear, who can help you see the things that you might be missing. Together, you can get on track to finding the healthy relationship you deserve.