What is Love Bombing?
While being showered with love and affection in the early stages of a relationship can feel exciting, this tactic can also be used as a form of control and emotional abuse by a partner. “Love bombing” refers to over the top displays of love and affection that attempt to control or manipulate and is often experienced in the early stages of a relationship.
Love bombing is a complicated experience and can be difficult to recognize. TV and movies often romanticize love bombing and thus you may not realize the potential warning signs, dangers, and strategies to respond.
Recognizing Love Bombing
Love bombing can take on many different forms within a relationship. Some signs to look for include:
- Excessive flattering
- Soul mate labels such as “other half”
- Over the top gifting
- Exaggerated compliments
- Constant communication via text or phone
- Desire to be physically together constantly
According to experts, there are three stages of love bombing.
- Idealization
The first stage of love bombing, when your partner places you on a pedestal and showers you with love, affection, gifts, and constant communication
- Devaluation
Stage two of love bombing is when red flags being to appear. Your partner may alternate between kind and cruel behaviors, try to limit access to your friends and family, and insist that there is nothing wrong with their behavior. - Discard
The third stage of love bombing occurs when you confront your partner about their actions. They may refuse to take accountability, insist that there is nothing wrong with their actions, and make you feel guilty or ungrateful.
How to Respond
There are a few ways that you can respond to suspected love bombing. If you are hoping to work towards a more mutually comfortable relationship with your partner, you can try setting boundaries related to time spent together, gift giving, and phone/text contact. You can also refuse gifts and gestures to see how your partner responds. If you make the decision to end the relationship or take space away, make sure to limit or cut off contact with the offending partner to facilitate reflection and healing. Therapy or relationship coaching can help you recover from love bombing and learn what you are looking for in a mutually beneficial, happy relationship.
Jessica’s Offerings
Relationship coaches are equipped to support you in your journey cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships. At the Jessica Yaffa Coaching Institute, relationship coaches offer both one on one and couples’ sessions to help you better understand yourself in the context of an intimate relationship. Coaching sessions are tailored to meet your unique needs and often surround topics related to self-worth, unhealthy dynamics, toxic patterns, communication, pre-marital preparation, and goal setting. The institute also offers online relational workshops in addition to in person relational retreats that create a supportive and empowering environment to enhance interpersonal connections and emotional intimacy. You can find more information about relationship coaching and relational workshops and retreats at https://www.jessicayaffa.org/relationship-coach/ , https://www.jessicayaffa.org/relationship-workshops/ , and https://www.jessicayaffa.org/relational-retreats/
Sources
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/signs-of-love-bombing/
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-love-bombing-5223611
