Healthy Relationship Expectations
Whether we realize it or not, we often have expectations for our relationships that come from our personal experiences and what we see in others. At times, our relationship expectations can create tension when there’s a disconnect in what we expect and reality. Just like setting healthy boundaries, setting healthy relationship expectations can help set our relationships up for success and lead to happy, fulfilling connections.
At the Jessica Yaffa Coaching Institute, we often work with clients to help reconcile expectation and reality and set realistic and productive relationship goals. Continue reading to hear from our experts on expectations in love, common unrealistic expectations, and how you can use these tools in your existing and new relationships.
What Do Relationship Expectations Look Like?
You’re not alone if you’re wondering what exactly relationship expectations look like. You may not even realize that you have certain expectations of your friends, family, or partner. Expectations look different depending on the nature of your relationship, and it is important to reflect on and examine your expectations to ensure that they are healthy and realistic. Your expectations might look like joint guidelines to uphold with your partner in the good and bad times, or certain rules that you expect your partner to adhere. While the term “rule” might have a negative connotation in your mind, a rule in your relationship can be a positive thing. For example, “my partner treats me with respect and care during times of conflict.” How you communicate your expectations to your partner is a crucial piece of healthy relationship expectations.
Unrealistic Vs. Realistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations in a relationship can lead to disappointment, bickering, resentment, loss of trust, emotional distance, and more. Healthy expectations, on the other hand, are standards for your relationship that create a solid foundation for happy, healthy connection.
Realistic and healthy relationship expectations include:
- Mutual respect
- Honesty
- Kindness
- Trust
- Open communication
- Setting aside quality time
- Feeling supported
- Having your boundaries respected
Unrealistic expectations include expecting your partner to…
- Change their values for you
- Feel the same way that you do about all things
- Make you happen all the time
- Read your mind
- Only spend time with you
- Agree with you on everything
- Be perfect all the time
- Fulfill all of your needs
Communicating Your Expectations
Communicating your relationship goals and expectations with your partner allows them to understand your needs and act in a way that aligns with them. Whether you’ve been with your partner for years, or your relationship is in the early stages, expecting your partner to know all your needs and wants without your openly expressing them is unrealistic and likely to lead to tension and disappointment.
Sharing expectations with your partner should be an open dialogue. Allow your partner the space to share their expectations, as yours may be different, and work to reach a mutual understanding of your relationship goals.
Support From Relationship Coaches
If you’re seeking to feel seen, heard, and connected, we’re here for you. Our coaches can support you in identifying and communicating healthy relationship expectations. Coaching sessions are a safe space where you feel free to openly share your feelings and experiences. We know that it can be intimidating to seek support, and we’re here to make your experience as comfortable and positive as it can be.
We are also excited to share an upcoming relationship communication workshop opportunity for couples. This workshop will be led by Anika Hillin, a relationship communication coach, and provide couples with the opportunity to learn more about tools for effective communication. Don’t miss the chance to reserve your spot in our relationship communication workshop March 25th from 6:30 to 8:00 pm PST. Click here to learn more and register.
