How Can I Start a Conversation About Sex with My Kids?

Thinking about talking to your kids about sex and relationships can be daunting. We understand all the questions swirling in your mind… when should I start the conversation, what should I say, how do I make sure it is as painless as possible? While it might be intimidating, talking to your kids about sex and relationships can help them make healthy and safe decisions as they grow older and engage in their own intimate relationships. In this blog post we’ll share conversation starters, tips, and encouragement to prepare you to have successful conversations around sex and relationships.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Talking to your kids about sex and relationships is something that can take place over the course of their lives. It’s never too late to start, and we recommend creating a safe space for ongoing dialogue as opposed to having “the talk” all at once.

Some tips for starting the conversation and creating a supportive environment include

  • Be patient
  • Ask open ended questions
  • Try not to laugh or make your child feel silly about questions they may have
  • Be honest
  • Be patient and check in with your child

Questions and Conversation Starters

You’ll need to tailor your conversation based on how old your kids are, and what you feel like they are ready to know and understand. Important information ranges based on age, and there are a few great sources linked below that break down the topics you may want to discuss with your child based on their age.

Today’s Parent

Planned Parenthood

You can help ease into these conversations by provided your kids with information as they grow in the form of books or videos about anatomy, puberty, and sex. This can help them understand their bodies and bring up questions and/or concerns that they may have. As your child gets older, you can ask questions about crushes or dating relationships to open the door to sharing safe sex and healthy relationship information.

Below are some questions and conversation starters that we have pulled together for you:

  • Do you have any questions about how you’re feeling in your body and the changes going on?
  • It’s okay to feel a little uncomfortable talking about these things with me, but I want you to know that you can trust me and I’m here for you if you have any questions.
  • What do you know about being intimate in a safe way?
  • Have you heard or seen anything on social media or at school that is confusing to you? I can help you understand.

What Jessica offers

We know that it can be difficult to talk to your children about these topics, especially if you are struggling in your own intimate relationships. The Jessica Yaffa Coaching Institute offers relationship coaching for individuals and couples to help you better understand yourself and your intimate relationship(s). Coaching sessions are tailored to meet your unique needs and often surround topics related to self-worth, unhealthy dynamics, toxic patterns, communication, pre-marital preparation, and goal setting. The institute also offers online relational workshops in addition to in person relational retreats that create a supportive and empowering environment to enhance interpersonal connections and emotional intimacy. You can find more information about relationship coaching and relational workshops and retreats at , , and