Feeling a bit disconnected from your partner? Relationship feeling stale? You’re not alone. In fact, it’s perfectly normal for feelings, chemistry, and a sense of deep connection to wax and wane in a relationship. The good news is that, as humans, we are designed to connect and there are many ways, even simple ones, that can restore the feeling of closeness with your partner. Here are 40 ways you can help your relationship get its shine back.

40 Ways to Strengthen a Relationship

  1. Create something together
  2. Join a couple’s group
  3. Do something thrilling together
  4. Ask one new question each day
  5. Socialize together
  6. Recreate your first date
  7. Reorganize the workload to put each partner’s strengths to use
  8. Pray/meditate together
  9. Take a special getaway together
  10. Take a getaway individually
  11. Sign up for a couple’s workshop together
  12. Share a childhood memory you’ve never shared with your partner
  13. Revisit old plans that never took shape and see if there’s a spark to make them happen
  14. Take time to learn more about one of your partner’s hobbies
  15. Take turns serving each other breakfast in bed
  16. Carve out a block of time each day, turn off all electronics, and focus just on each other
  17. Tackle the tough discussions
  18. Surprise your partner with a romantic and intimate setting
  19. Make something for your partner
  20. Discuss boundaries in the relationship
  21. Dream (together) about the future
  22. Set a goal and make a plan to achieve it together
  23. Visit with another couple that inspires you both 
  24. Find a quiet place in nature and take turns reading a novel to each other
  25. Get involved in a community services project together
  26. Surprise your partner with love notes in unexpected places
  27. Meet with a relationship coach or therapist to get a new perspective
  28. Spend 15 minutes asking each other personal questions about fears, hopes, dreams, and make eye contact while doing it
  29. Commit to doing, together, the thing you’ve both been putting off
  30. Create an album together of your favorite memories
  31. Visit family you both enjoy being with
  32. Create a digital “mixtape” of songs that hold significance in your relationship
  33. Encourage your partner to start the thing they’ve been afraid of, and ask how you can be supportive of them
  34. Exercise together, then help each other stretch afterward
  35. Make a lunch date and plan a special picnic
  36. If you live together, create a safe space in the home where you can both spend time together, and leave any negativity outside of the space
  37. When possible, extend hugs to 20 seconds or more to get the oxytocin flowing
  38. Make your favorite childhood meals for each other
  39. Read The Five Love Languages together and explore each other’s primary and secondary languages of love
  40. Separately read a relationship self-help book you both agree on, then compare notes and agree to put in place one thing you learned

This list is by no means exhaustive, but serves more as a starting point to be more intentional in your relationship. Even if you don’t choose something from this list, I hope that it will inspire you to come up with other ideas to strengthen the connection in your relationship. Your relationship is worth the work, and so are you.

 

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