It’s no secret – more and more people are looking to love coaches to improve their relationships and finding that coaches are a breath of fresh air when it comes to wellness providers. Of course, with all things in life, there are ways to maximize our efforts and the coaching/client relationship is no exception. If you’ve been curious about how you can get the most out of a love coach, look no further. We’ve put together seven tips that will help you make the most out of hiring a coach that specializes in relationships and love.
1. Do your research
Every coach is different. Different training, different specialties, different skills, and most certainly, different personalities. Some coaches are certified by an organization, some are therapists-turned-coaches, while others are informed and guided by their own life experience, and as the field grows, we are sure to see an ever wider variety of skills and personalities join the movement.
With so many coaches to choose from, it makes sense to determine what you expect from a coach, determine what your needs are, then do your own research to find a fit that is good for you.
Does it bring you peace of mind to have a wellness professional backed by a reputable organization? Would you prefer a female, male, or non-binary coach? Do you want to do in-person sessions or meet online? What sort of life experience would you like your coach to have? Professional training and education outside of coaching?
These are just some of the questions you can ask yourself when researching a love coach – and don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. Doing honest research before you sign up with a coach can help you make sure you’re working with someone who is a good fit.
2. Allow yourself time before and after a session
If you want to level up your sessions, being on time also includes allowing yourself a few minutes (or more) before the session so you can get into a mental space for healing and learning. Additionally, allow yourself some time after the session to decompress, nurture yourself, and absorb the learnings from your session. Even just a few minutes before and after can have a significant impact on the effectiveness of your sessions, but don’t be afraid to take as much time as you need!
3. Avoid substances before your session
To get the most out of your time with a love coach, it is best to avoid alcohol and other substances before and directly after your session. When we are under the influence, our capacity to be present and tap into our authenticity are severely diminished.
Moreover, when we turn to substances immediately after a session, our brains are unable to move any new information from our working memory to our long-term memory. Thus, we reduce the impact of the new neural connections we make during our sessions and it can feel like we are spinning our wheels.
4. Be open to new ways of thinking
A good coach will ask the right questions to help you get to a core truth. Sometimes, we come up against a core truth that doesn’t align with our values and goals, and we can either shut down new insight in order to preserve the status quo, or we can open ourselves up to the possibilities afforded by new ways of thinking.
Being open to new ways of thinking doesn’t necessarily mean we accept every new insight, but when we are open to new information, even if we ultimately reject the new info, we can be confident we are honoring our authentic selves.
5. Be honest and authentic with your coach
For those of us who have not experienced safety in being honest and authentic, the thought of being that vulnerable can be terrifying.
A coach can provide the safe space to practice showing up with our own true wants, preferences, and needs. When we practice being authentic, and our practice is met with compassion, empathy, honor, and safety, we gain confidence in our authenticity outside of the coaching relationship.
Moreover, and as with any wellness provider, we help them help us when we can honestly convey what works and what doesn’t, or what we’re truly struggling with. An effective coaching session will embrace your truth, whatever it may be.
6. Be ready to implement what you learn
Most coaches would love to find the magic key that automatically brings the changes you wish to see, but alas, we come up against wishful thinking. Which means, as clients, we set ourselves up for success when we are ready to put our new tools and skills to work.
If something isn’t working, we should feel free to explore that with our coach, but even when something is working, there is effort involved. The more we can provide ourselves with space to do the work needed for change, the more we find our coaching relationship to be valuable and impactful.
7. Don’t be afraid to add other professionals to your care team
Often, working with a coach can help in areas where other approaches to wellness have been unsuccessful. At the same time, some people may need additional support from other wellness providers and could benefit from having a care team made up of more than one professional. You could design a care team that consists of your coach, a doctor, a spiritual leader, psychiatrist, therapist, or any combination of wellness professionals that makes sense for you. The beauty is that this is your journey, and a coaching relationship leaves room for additional support if needed.
The most important takeaway here is that getting the most out of a love coach is most likely to happen if we are intentional about our care. From research to designing our own optimal approach to our care, we can maximize our efforts and get the most out of the coaching/client relationship.