Rebound relationships are considered as bouncing from one unhealthy relationship to the next, without the proper time in between for mental healing. Many times, rebound relationships are sought out as a way to shut out the feelings of grief, pain, or loss that are felt after ending a relationship. Many people use intimacy as a way to deal with pain, but are ultimately only hurting their own emotional well-being. Although a rebound relationship may feel like the right solution at the time, make sure you take time to understand how you are truly feeling before jumping into another relationship. You can start making healthier relationship choices and ending the rebound relationship cycle by asking yourself questions like the ones below.
1. Are you codependent?
Codependency is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. Is your current relationship based on love and respect or a need to be needed? A codependent relationship involves unhealthy reliance on one another—many times including mental or physical abuse.
2. Can you see yourself with this person in the long-term?
Many times, people enter rebound relationships that they do not actually see working out in the long-term. They are rather treating the relationship as a temporary band-aid for the pain. If you are dating someone but could not imagine yourself being together for the long haul, take some time to consider why you are with your partner. Is it for the right reasons?
3. Do you have a fear of rejection or abandonment?
People that find themselves stuck in the rebound relationship cycle tend to suffer from a fear of being abandoned or rejected. They fear being alone and seek out relationships as a way to heal this pain. If you are constantly scared of being rejected by your friends, family, or loved ones, you may be in relationships simply to cope with this feeling.
If you found yourself connecting to some of the statements above, you may be showing subtle signs of being in a rebound relationship. Below are a list of things you can do to help focus on yourself and not end up in an endless rebound relationship cycle.
- Get to know why you are in your current relationship. Take note of the reasons you chose to be with your partner and reflect on if you are with someone that makes you stronger or if you are with someone because you are scared to be weak.
- Make a list of your hobbies and try to do at least one per week. Try to be creative and artistic, as this is a great way to improve your mental health. Caring for your mental health may reduce the need for rebound relationships.
- Try something new on your own. No matter your age, seeking out new things makes you feel young. Do something that scares or excites you.
- Get active. Get outside, get in the gym, or simply get moving. It’s amazing how physical activity can impact your mental health in a positive way.
- Set personal goals. It can be as simple and personal as making sure you tell yourself you love yourself every day to something as serious as running your first marathon. Keeping yourself motivated for personal reasons is important to keep a strong sense of self.
- Carve out time to connect with friends or family. Make sure you are not sacrificing friendships in order to remain in your current relationship. Everyone needs a core group to turn to aside from their partner. It is important to maintain connections with multiple people in your life.
- List your 10 greatest strengths. If you are constantly moving from one unhealthy relationship to the next, it is rare to find time to reflect and appreciate yourself. Always remember why you love yourself, and never let it take the backseat.
If you are struggling with the rebound relationship cycle and would like support, consider the benefits of relationship coaching. Many individuals who struggle with unhealthy relationship habits find that having a safe space to explore various patterns can do wonders.