does eye-gazing work?

You may have heard of it before: Eye-gazing. Perhaps you’ve decided it’s a little woo-woo, or maybe you’ve been intrigued but have’t had a chance to try it yet. Either way, we’re going to unpack and explore the theory of eye-gazing and see how and why it’s thought to work.

What is Eye-Gazing?

For the last three decades, mental health experts and spiritual leaders have touted the benefits of eye-gazing. The practice is simple: grab a partner and gaze into their eyes for at least two minutes and reap the benefits of increased intimacy, trust, and yes, even attraction.

Does Eye-Gazing Work?

Several studies have been done, but a particularly interesting research project was carried out in 2013. Researchers found increased activity in the amygdala when scanning the brains of eye-gazers. Two other notable studies in 1989 and 2003 showed eye-gazing created mutual feelings of love and also found that the longer a subject stared at a face, the more they became attracted to it.

It does seem as though there is significant scientific evidence that backs up the validity of eye-gazing. But it doesn’t stop with science – a quick Google search for “eye-gazing” will pull up a plethora of first-hand accounts and anecdotal evidence.

Try It:

The best way to determine whether eye-gazing works is to try it yourself. Keeping in mind that it might be a little uncomfortable at first, you may want to try it with a low-risk, trusted partner at first, such as a friend or other confidante. 

For the exact approach to start eye-gazing, or for an easy introduction to it, we’ve pulled these steps for successful eye-gazing from

  1. Sit in a comfortable position and face your partner. You can hold hands or touch each other if you’d like.
  2. Set a timer for your desired amount of time. Look into your partner’s eyes.
  3. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to blink. Keep your gaze soft and try not to look away.
  4. Break your gaze when the timer goes off.

The goal of this exercise is to connect your energies without speaking.

For some, eye gazing might feel uncomfortable at first. If so, start with a shorter session. Practice eye gazing for 30 seconds, then increase your session over time. Most tantric practitioners recommended eye gazing for 10 to 20 minutes.

Curious enough to give it a try? Grab your partner, drop your guard, set the timer, and give it a go. If you’d like some help facilitating a deeper connection with your partner, whether through eye-gazing, improved communication, or getting rekindling a lost spark, a love coach might be able to help. Reach out today and start your journey toward living better and loving better.