image of couple dating with confidence

An Easy Trick to Boost Your Dating Confidence 


If you’re out there braving the world of dating, we don’t need to tell you- it can definitely be a drain on confidence. If you’re feeling a little lackluster about the value you bring as a potential partner, we’re hoping this little trick gives you the confidence boost you need. The best part is that it doesn’t take any additional time and it doesn’t cost a thing. The only thing needed is the willingness to pause and give it a try.


So, what’s this trick? Well, we can think of it as a mental play of positive reviews from people who love us. This can even include “reviews” from former partners, as long as they are positive. The goal here is to create an internal tape of the things people love about us, and then revisit the tape when we’re feeling nervous or lacking confidence and sense of self-worth.


The next time you’re getting ready for a date and you need a little boost, try thinking about 3-5 positive things people have said or would say about you. This could be things like the way your smile lights up a room, the way you give to others, your empathetic nature, your quirky love for an obscure hobby, or that one time you were there for a friend when nobody else was. You have so many beautiful traits- choose as many as you’d like, but at least 3.


Put these positives into a review format. You might visualize these people lovingly speaking about you to your date, or you might just string them together in a rolling statement. You can even imagine a review page, complete with 5-star ratings- get creative! 


Now, here’s where the willingness to pause comes in. If, in the days or hours leading up to your next date, you tend to get down on yourself, try a moment of intentional pause to play these reviews back in your mind.


If it feels silly, or even difficult, to do at first, that’s ok, just go with it. It can feel pretty unnatural to build ourselves up when we’re used to tearing ourselves down. You can set aside any expectations, and just notice how you feel as you think about people offering glowing reviews about you.


You might notice that you start to appreciate your smile a little more, or get a little excited to share your passion for that obscure hobby, or you might embrace your empathetic side, or feel really proud of the way you show up for a friend. If this is the case, use this trick as much as you’d like for as long as its helpful.


If you’re finding that you have a strong resistance to your internal tape of positive reviews from others, it’s ok- you don’t need to push it- especially if it’s making you feel worse. This, however, might be an interesting pattern to take a look at, if and when you have the desire and space to unpack it.


Either way, it’s worth giving this little trick a try the next time you need to boost your dating confidence. Best part? You can start trying it right now. So, go ahead, give it a shot, and see where it takes you. We’ll be here, cheering you on, because we know those positive reviews about you are true.